On Becoming a Caregiver
Who really thinks about getting older or retirement when you’re in your 20s or 30s? If you’re not thinking about those seemingly distant but approaching milestones, it is safe to say you were or are not thinking about caregiving at all, either as a provider or recipient.
Becoming a caregiver provider or recipient usually slips up on us. Intellectually, we know the probability of becoming a one or the other exists, especially if you have elderly parents or family members who are disabled in some other way. But again, because we are so busy with our lives, how many of us can say that we actually plan for that day? How easy can it be to plan for such a day when the events that could catapult one into either role are often unexpected or occurs before we have expected them? However it happens, and to what degree, one day the majority of us are or will become someone’s caregiver. And one day, we will become the one in need of a caregiver.
And if you were born between the years 1946-1964, you will be a part of the largest group (76 millions plus) in history that will need caregiving. We are living longer and so are our parents! Many older baby boomers are already caregivers to an elderly family member. Many boomers are already receiving care!
While I include institutionalized caregiving and caregiving that promotes independent living (aging in place), my focus is on the in-home and/or family caregiver. Demands on a caregiver can be overwhelming as can be the financial toll when choices must be made between maintaining a job or becoming a fulltime caregiver. Caregiving is often an unpaid endeavor, the cost of which has been estimated at 257 billion dollars annually.
Support, availability of resources and information and knowing how to pull together financial resources and decisions having to be made, often in short periods of time are crucial, irrevocable, and often life-impacting to caregivers and families. Sharing stories and experiences can be a source of comfort because often we forget that we are not alone in what we feel and/or are going through. When we know we are not alone, it becomes easier to seek the support systems and help that we need to combat the physical, mental, and emotional stress associated with caregiving. It becomes easier to ask for help! One must ask for help! But if you think about it, it might be more important if you are offered the help before you even have to ask.
A friend & mentor, Jim Paglia, had this to say. "People are quick to say 'Let me know if I can do anything.' Seldom does that turn into anything meaningful because caregivers are often reluctant to ask for help. A tip I learned from my CAN (Caregivers Action Network) experience is to be very specific when offering help. Instead of using the tired old line stated above, I said to my brother, "If it's alright with you, I will be coming to NY to stay with you while you recuperate from you surgery, meaning I can also look in on Mom at her place, which is something I know you do. That should somewhat ease the concern both of you have about who will be taking care of the other."
Caregivers™ Magazine is here to remind you that you are not by yourself in your journey and to be a constant reminder that it is imperative that you take care of yourself! There must be a concerted and continued focus on taking care of the caregiver.
Jim Paglia is the CEO of In's & Outs, LLC, a nationally recognized brand strategy consulting firm. He is the past 2011 Chair of the National Family Caregivers Association (now CAN, Caregivers Action Network). Brands That Stand. Jim's blog is brandsthatstand.blogspot.com.
